i am tired...

of trying to please everyone.

i've realised, no matter what i do trying to please everybody, somewhere someone will be pissed. making everyone happy is just impossible.

next time:

- i should just say "No, sorry i'm not free, i can't do it" to whatever people ask of me.
- i wont have to feel obligated to agree to accompany anyone to any event/function/应酬/gathering/outing/campaign/dates just because he's scared to go alone.
- i wont promise anything in future. so that i wont feel the unnecessary guilt later when my appointments or time gett screwed up.
- if it's none of my business, i should stay away. in case i incur the wrath of people if i'm involved.
- i shouldn't agree to do it, if i'm not exactly keen in the first place.
- i really should learn to say "No" when the situation requires it.

i'm sorry for the disappointments i caused, resulting in sufferings and pissings u guys have to bear. but in my defence, i really tried to fulfil my promise, but somehow failed cos sometimes i have last minute engagements/appts i have to attend to, or when people made me wait 2-3 hours in the dust, causing my schedule to be pushed n messed up.

i also hate it when people change their minds last minute. its like, you tell me u want to do this urgently, meet at 6pm later, but tell me at 6:30pm that you cant make it. WTF? so i just want to say, if u feel pissed, i felt even more pissed. if ur unhappy, i am unhappier than u. if ur angry, i'm just as upset as well. i also hate it when i'm forced to cancel certain plans that i had planned to do.

i cant take all the blame anymore. its just too much for me to swallow all the 委屈, too heavy a burden to be responsible for all the disappointments when things don't work out.
i cant help it, i cant save myself liao. but u can still save urself from further sufferings. next time don't jio me or ask me to accompany u to anything. its only this way, that i wont cancel on u.

and where is my hsbc agent??
i've been bloody hell trying to reach u.
b-l-o-o-d-y h-e-l-l