feeling... down...

the 1st post in august, is not a happy one.

i feel so out of touch with the world. that time met up with ruyin, and i realised how far behind i am in the movies and entertainment scene. it can be considered a good thing, it jus means im busy with my work n stuff. but also a bad thing, bcos is my life really gonna be jus abt work? OMG. this reminds me of a dream tat i had. i dreamt i was meeting a prospect and i was actually doing presentation! its a good thing, it shows im still professional when it comes to work. but its quite jialat cos it occured to me "这就是我的生活吗?" the dream kinda freaked me out: am i really workaholic?

anyway. feel very down recently. work is stressful. personal life is plain n boring. close friends are drifting apart. sigh. i've come to realise i have my strengths when i service the stranger-type of clients. but when it comes to clients who are my friends, i have alot of weaknesses. what i hope to achieve, is for ppl to think of me when they thought of insurance, sth like "insurance? better to find eileen". that will be the ultimate sign that shows i succeed in this career. but not the other way round, i dun wish ppl to think "eileen? oh, insurance" maybe u mite think there's no difference. but there IS!

coupla mths ago, a gd friend of mine told me he thinks macham we're friends bcos of insurance. sigh. there's only so much time i have. i need to meet new propects, service existing clients etc etc, i hardly have time to hang out w friends. so wat i do, is to make myself efficient. when i hangout with friends, if need be, ill 顺便 update them. den no need to arrange another session rite? eh, come to tink of it, i realise the friend has too high standards, expects too much from me liao. lets sat i meet friend A for coffee, i kept it most professional, talk abt policy. he gets angry n says it feels we're friends cos of insurance. ok so i change my way of servicing. this time, i meet the same friend A for movie n dinner, along the way during conversation, i update him. he gets annoyed when i talk abt insurance. ok fine, dun talk. i meet friend A again, this time, we talked abt holidays, movies, politics, weather. everything but insurance. den later, friend A decided to lapse my plan n switch to another because he says i didn't tell him anythin. alamak, wat am i to do?

i remember a friend told me, im only in a pond now. if small little things like tat can upset me, how am i gonna survive when im in the ocean next time? den i realised, as much as i wan to, i really cannot be superwoman n please everybody. there will bound to be ppl who will lapse policies with me bcos of invalid reasons. there will always be ppl tryin to be funny. i already considered all these factors b4 i joined the business. i know this kinda thing will happen, especially when i start to do cases with strangers. i jus didnt think these same factors will bite me in the ass via close friends. sigh.

so, ALOT of ppl ask me "is being an insurance agent really that 风光 n good money?" my answer is obvious. got good, got bad. bcos of our job nature, alot of unhappiness can only 往肚里吞. when u visit the bank, u rarely hear bank officers complain or say bad things in front of u rite? lol. thats why ppl usually only hear the good stuff, and naturally they think its easy business.

another thing i noticed. some of my working friends are still super apprehensive abt doing CPF investments. they are afraid of losing as they hear alot of stories where ppl dun make profits. hmmm.. when u strike lottery, do u go around tellin the whole world u won? unlikely. but when u buy 4D n missed one digit, will u complain abt it whenever u meet someone? affirmative. its very singaporean loh. lol.

its good to do CPF investments, well-advised ones lah. ppl think they wont lose anythin if dun do any investments, i beg to differ. how much will ur CPF reserves shrink to, after 30 years, if stay stagnant? alamak, who's not afraid of losing $? i also scared what! but really tink abt it, if i dun take any action to make my $ grow faster, i will definitely lose. DEFINITELY.